The Sleepless Moon

As ridiculous as it may sound. I'm staying in office now as I try to find ways to communicate with friends just to past my time while waiting for the Team Leaders meeting today. in the meantime, I should hope salary would be out by this afternoon, so that I can have a nice lunch instead of just another mug of thick milo. Finished working at 7am, but remaining in office as the meeting is at 2:30pm. if I were to go home. I need to spend the freaking 1 1/2 hours to reach home. Rest for 1 -2 hours then have to go back to office? No way! LOL~~!!

The Moon Over Siam

Another day, Another month, another valentine, alone. Today, I watch a movie from Thailand. The drama of the movie really spins my heart & my mind together. How many of you really felt the same? I'm begining to ask myself question that I've never asked before. Questions such as, am I really homosexual? If yes, what role am I? Top? I can top people, but I rarely felt the pleasure of it for myself. Bottom? That was the role when I first join the circle, but it's really hard for me to find someone that can give me the real pleasure of it. Love? I don't know even if I've really love someone. These few weeks, I've met with alot of people. Yet, I felt that I could just simply hug & kiss anyone. I mean, what is this? I've never felt so lost all this time. Is it really love that I'd felt all this time when I was with someone? Or am I that desperate to have someone? I really don't know the answers to these questions. Even if I do, what's the outcome? Only more questions...

The 17 Sky Moon

I wonder how many people has actually saw this movie? Formula 17? or rather in chinese 17 岁的天空. Love how the whole movie goes. But the contradiction I found about this whole story was the gossip about other people. 绝世坏男人，白铁男. This fella just so happen to be innocent. I'm sure you'll all agree on my stand when or if you finished the movie. Eventually, that's how our life goes around. You met someone new, wish to know more. Then suddenly, puff! You got into some juicy gossip about this guy or that girl. Then the next thing you knew, YOU removed yourself from his/her connection. having nothing to do with him/her. What's the reason you asked? Simply answer, you heard some bad news about him/her. Here's the things for us to really go through. Was all the rumours true? Just like in this movie. We know the other guy going through some trauma. How many others know about it? If you loved this movie once, then you'll probably remember a scene where they come upon an old man waiting to cross a road. You'll understand when you think back or rewatch this movie.

Another year has come and Chinese New Year was finally over, with just a blink of an eye. Or so that's how we, chinese, would say it. Time flies. It really does. It's also one of the main reason why I always remind people around me to let them know what to treasure. And what to let go. I recall a line when I was in my primary school. The teachers like to paint proverbs all over the school's walls in english. "Time Wait For No Man". True! But in our case, you can remove the "Man" to gay, girl, lesbo or bi. Not to mention that suddenly i realiase that I'm down to my last Rm100 for the month. Need to spend it slowly. LOL! So after my breakfast today I'll really need to cut down abit more. But most probably I'll be sending the money on my ciggie addictions. Afterwhich, I'll skip all out until a good timing. I'm expecting the salary to be delayed and giving around 28th Feb for this time as my HR Exec inform me of such. I wonder how long I can last. Althought, I've been promoted. I've yet to receive my promotion letter from the management. i'm rather eager to get my new salary as it would really cover my house whole expenses. Especially when MPAJ suddenly flies their love letters to you. Luckily, it's not douse with perfume! Otherwise it'll be a terrible shocking news.

Other than this much, I guess I dun have much to share. Mom went back to London yesterday. So, I'll see if she can keep her promise. Which I'll doubt anyway. Lost the faith. Will soon losing her as well. I guess I'm used to it. Too many people come and go anyway. Oh! And since Valentine is coming, I wish all my lovey dovey couple out there(and around me) a great and fantastic Valentine. Yeah, I'll be spending my Valentine alone as usual. Maybe I should go to a movie.

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The Chemical Moon

Been quite sometimes since I had this much fun. Sadly the reactions of such splendor time has a bad outcome which resulted a negative mixture of emotion. I somehow wanted it more as if I've become addictive for more sex. Yes, sex! I wanted more. Not those casual kind of fun that most people had. Mine include intake of certain substance. I don't know why. But the urges are like really strong. Due to this matter, I got some bad respond from the people around me. Somewhat being left alone and not being able to do anything about it, I just push everyone away. The good if you may asked? I found those whom know me for years failed to really understands me. Those who doesn't didn't gave much of a damn. I've always said “There has to be an equal balance of Yin & Yang”. Now, I guessed as much is the balance of it. So, nothing much. It's just another stage. I should be able to get through it like normal. Which I've always (sadly) did.
Valentine's Day is just around the corner. After reading Tythus' journal on then I've realized it. I wonder how I would past my valentine's this year. Would it be pretty much the same as last year? Or I might get to meet someone along. But above all, there's always hope as I'll have a great valentine. Having high hopes may have higher disappointments. Therefore, after much consideration. I don't think I would give much hope nor faith in such. But I would have to admit that I would get damn envious on those lovely couples walking around, holding hands, hugging each other & kissing as well. I wonder if they knew if they made some pretty lonesome people like me envious. The worst time of life which I had to go through are the major celebrations which I so treasured to spend with that special someone would never came. Probably never would. At least for the next 3 years. Or so said my best friend whom asked his mother to read my future. I wonder what I would be doing to make him fall head over heel for me. I dare not imagine. I could be so damn freaking desperate I might be pointing a gun on his head!
Life is a never ending story that we write it slowly, day by day, month by month and so on. How would you write your own never ending story? It's really for you to know and for others to find out.