To all my friends, which is it that you think is the scariest part of my personality? I finally found the song that Edison used for his ringtone. It's a very nice touching song. With my kind of music. The song shows as in he's person being sang in that particular song. I go and be bitchy out of boredom, and send him thy chorus lyrics. replied by asking what it meant. The small exchanges of sms is as below:
Me: It's your ringtone's de lyrics. Sorry I cannot be your lover. But I can be your brother and take care of you if you wan.
Edison: What you mean? You take care of me as brother? Can I come back stay with you?
Me: Yes. Can take care of you as brother. And you can come back here to stay when you ready.
Edison: Really? Why you treat me so good?
Me: You don't want? Ok lor...
Edison: Sure I want.... I really want....
Then I close my phone and goes to sleep. My boy aggree that this is the best possible way to help him. Well, since I'm busy this weekend, so I can't be bother with Edison coming back to stay here for this week time. Me and My boy have plans this coming weekend with an invited guest. Yes! The movie! Confirm that the movie will be would be at Times Square, around 9pm+ and would be in Premier Class if Harry Potter is showed for that class of seats. After movie it'll be a long Saturday night for me and my boy.
Things at work haven't been very pleasant as well. I just receive news that I'm the next possible candidate to take over the Leader's position for Celestial Destroyer Online. This game is like totally dead. But I loved some of the game features, but hate most of it of course. The economy of the game is bad as well. I have to return to the office in the afternoon to attend the leaders meeting. I can only hope that I don't have to work back in the morning. It's boring and I hate the time when it's rush hour when I'm going home. Hate the traffic.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Completed Stages Of The Moon
Now, everything is resolved. He chooses to leave. He can't accept the fact that he has to share his lover with someone else that he don't like at all. I don't mind that. But the fact it hurts me when he don't tell me directly. My dear BF took the courage to sms him and check up if he still wanna come back. I was tired. Really tired as it's consuming my mental and physical energy to worry about someone that don't really gives a damn about what you feel. Then comes Sunday night, I sms him saying that i felt he has someone to take care of him and wished him all the best. No replied. Monday morning, I text message him to ensure that he woke up and goes to work. He responded and stating that he's staying with his cousin and has no one to take care of him. I just replied ok and good bye. later that night, he sms saying that he has no phone credit to call out or sms. Asked if I could share RM5 of my phone credit to him. When he first brought this new phone number, I've already share RM5 to him. Then when he mention he ran out of credit again, I share another RM10 with him. I send an sms before sharing my final time of RM5 to him. As I've said to him in the text message, I share the phone credits was in hoping that he can contact me in time of need. Since I know he spend the credits on calling to other people. I advised him to use the public phone next time. He called shortly after that. I didn't answer. I didn't bother to answer. Nor I bother to reply his sms after that. The choices has been made. He choose to see the other part of me. Which, my BF scare most.
It's silly of me to go back and think about it. Like how I would have never suspect nor notice. He was always in the same certain area. I suspected it for quite some time. But never had the evidence to proves him guilty. So, I took my chances, letting him go as he like. I'll reconsider if he ever wanna return here. Talk about inconvinient. I admit it's not so convinient for me to go to work as well. But we, the people whom stayed here, have our way with public transport. A little sacrificial to get our asses to work. In return, our pay for the job we done. Maybe he used to be a prince. Can't take up the effort of switching buses and LRTs to get to the work destination.
I'm in my poverty stage again. My instant noodles is already fully stock up for this month. Go ahead. Laugh. It's a means of survival. And I bet some people don't have what it means to survive on 1 pack of instant noodles per day. For me, been there, done that. Even 1 loaf of bread is more filling than instant noodles, this, I can assure you. Life living expenses is hard nowadays, I know my boy wanted more. But I enjoy being in this way. My boy is the lazy type. He don't feel like doing all the hard work. What am I expecting anyway? He's a bottom after all. But despise all he had done. He manage to melt my Ice Wall and reach my heart. That's why I love him for what he is now. And what he will be come in the future. It's another day. Brand new sun will rises from the east again. Time to face new chalenge up ahead. This week, I have to deal with all the loneliness at home. My boy won't be coming back until Wednesday night. He's rather busy this week. And even in the weekends. Well, we have already planned to watch Harry Potter And the Half Blood Prince on the 1st weekend when it's in the cinema. I can't wait seriously.
It's silly of me to go back and think about it. Like how I would have never suspect nor notice. He was always in the same certain area. I suspected it for quite some time. But never had the evidence to proves him guilty. So, I took my chances, letting him go as he like. I'll reconsider if he ever wanna return here. Talk about inconvinient. I admit it's not so convinient for me to go to work as well. But we, the people whom stayed here, have our way with public transport. A little sacrificial to get our asses to work. In return, our pay for the job we done. Maybe he used to be a prince. Can't take up the effort of switching buses and LRTs to get to the work destination.
I'm in my poverty stage again. My instant noodles is already fully stock up for this month. Go ahead. Laugh. It's a means of survival. And I bet some people don't have what it means to survive on 1 pack of instant noodles per day. For me, been there, done that. Even 1 loaf of bread is more filling than instant noodles, this, I can assure you. Life living expenses is hard nowadays, I know my boy wanted more. But I enjoy being in this way. My boy is the lazy type. He don't feel like doing all the hard work. What am I expecting anyway? He's a bottom after all. But despise all he had done. He manage to melt my Ice Wall and reach my heart. That's why I love him for what he is now. And what he will be come in the future. It's another day. Brand new sun will rises from the east again. Time to face new chalenge up ahead. This week, I have to deal with all the loneliness at home. My boy won't be coming back until Wednesday night. He's rather busy this week. And even in the weekends. Well, we have already planned to watch Harry Potter And the Half Blood Prince on the 1st weekend when it's in the cinema. I can't wait seriously.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Unsettling Of The Moon
Call me heartless and lost of family touch. Being brought up from a broken has it's advantages and disadvantages. Advantages would be not needing any assistance from family, your brother or mother or sister or even other relative. The disadvantages would be you could care less about what your family things about you. And may even cut off connections from your family as well.
The point is that E has finally came back. But the settling feels that he still wanna go home to his family and hoping that they would accept him back. And so he left for Cameron again in the evening last night. I don't know if he cannot take it as he have to share me with Fong. But if I was in his shoe, I wouldn't have try to return back to my family in such short time. Maybe I know better, or maybe I don't know anything. I just hope the best for him. I know that staying with me is not the best option. But it's better than staying few days at a friend's place then moved to another. Since he decided, I have let him go and face it. But I can't really help but feeling that he's hiding something from me. his police report about his missing I/C, the one that show his year of birth is being scratch off. Which is making me very curious. And also, he suppose to go and make a new I/C by now. But knowing that it maybe his 1st case, I just inform him that it's time for him to go and make a new I/C. But the point is why he moving away from me again? This time he said he'll be back on Saturday. I don't know if he knows. I am the one giving chances for him to be with me. I guess it's just another waiting I have to deal with.
So far, I see E is rather hesitant about coming out to his friends. It was this incident last night that he called me while he was crying. All due to his friend found out that he's PLU. But where as his facebook wrote something else. But I really don't know if he knows that our circle is not small. If your friend know that you are PLU and cannot accept that, then they were never your friend from the very beginning. This is what others have told me. But for family wise, once they decided to give up on me, I will give up on them, permenant. No question asked. But hey, it's just me. Solely depends on the reactions of other people. One can never have guessed. As my dear friend Nic used to say, or maybe still saying. Love me, hate me, you still see me.
Working life seem dead boring. So, my company planned a trip to Pangkor Island. It was a nice island. But since I've been there before, it's nothing new to me. Decided not to go. Besides, I can take this chance to be with fond more. Because, he's starting complain about the changes. During May, I was working in the morning shift for recuperating my health back to normal conditions. We slept hugging each other always.
Met a friend whom was missing like always after our first & second meet-up. But she was busy all this while. She happens to drop by to midvalley and so she asked me out for a short meet up. Which, I'm very happy of course. And Jason is finally coming back from Malacca. He'll be staying with Brent. Also another friend we met during the little gathering. Hope to see him tomorrow for breakfast at bukit bintang for McD's breakfast. It's been too long I've taken their breakfast. Which is yummy of course! I'll never have enough anyway. That's why I'm saving my tummy for it now. Just hope that my gastric doesn't comes first. Or, I'll be ending up at the nearest hospital instead. Just need to take continue walking this road. It's all still foggy and blurry at this moment. One can only hope that the wind will blow to have a clearer path. It'll take time. But I got eternity.
The point is that E has finally came back. But the settling feels that he still wanna go home to his family and hoping that they would accept him back. And so he left for Cameron again in the evening last night. I don't know if he cannot take it as he have to share me with Fong. But if I was in his shoe, I wouldn't have try to return back to my family in such short time. Maybe I know better, or maybe I don't know anything. I just hope the best for him. I know that staying with me is not the best option. But it's better than staying few days at a friend's place then moved to another. Since he decided, I have let him go and face it. But I can't really help but feeling that he's hiding something from me. his police report about his missing I/C, the one that show his year of birth is being scratch off. Which is making me very curious. And also, he suppose to go and make a new I/C by now. But knowing that it maybe his 1st case, I just inform him that it's time for him to go and make a new I/C. But the point is why he moving away from me again? This time he said he'll be back on Saturday. I don't know if he knows. I am the one giving chances for him to be with me. I guess it's just another waiting I have to deal with.
So far, I see E is rather hesitant about coming out to his friends. It was this incident last night that he called me while he was crying. All due to his friend found out that he's PLU. But where as his facebook wrote something else. But I really don't know if he knows that our circle is not small. If your friend know that you are PLU and cannot accept that, then they were never your friend from the very beginning. This is what others have told me. But for family wise, once they decided to give up on me, I will give up on them, permenant. No question asked. But hey, it's just me. Solely depends on the reactions of other people. One can never have guessed. As my dear friend Nic used to say, or maybe still saying. Love me, hate me, you still see me.
Working life seem dead boring. So, my company planned a trip to Pangkor Island. It was a nice island. But since I've been there before, it's nothing new to me. Decided not to go. Besides, I can take this chance to be with fond more. Because, he's starting complain about the changes. During May, I was working in the morning shift for recuperating my health back to normal conditions. We slept hugging each other always.
Met a friend whom was missing like always after our first & second meet-up. But she was busy all this while. She happens to drop by to midvalley and so she asked me out for a short meet up. Which, I'm very happy of course. And Jason is finally coming back from Malacca. He'll be staying with Brent. Also another friend we met during the little gathering. Hope to see him tomorrow for breakfast at bukit bintang for McD's breakfast. It's been too long I've taken their breakfast. Which is yummy of course! I'll never have enough anyway. That's why I'm saving my tummy for it now. Just hope that my gastric doesn't comes first. Or, I'll be ending up at the nearest hospital instead. Just need to take continue walking this road. It's all still foggy and blurry at this moment. One can only hope that the wind will blow to have a clearer path. It'll take time. But I got eternity.
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