月梦天下

Date & Time of the Moon

2011-11-29T19:53:00.001-08:00

There's has been many times I would considered if I'm dating someone, it's the time frame I'm getting to know someone closes to me. And also given time to know if our feelings grows stronger.

So, what does one do when you're bored in the sense that you do not wanna do this or that? Guidance required...

The Dark Moon Eclipse

2010-10-20T02:48:00.001-07:00

A lot has come to past. And so letting it be. My boyfriend just had his appendix operation. Both of us are not working now. I resigned and his company was closed down. He's in recovering status. While I can't stop worrying of our future. At my age I do not know what else I can do to be an employee. Provided if anyone company were to employ me.

There's an old chinese saying, 有口说人，没口说自己. Which I find it to be rather true enough. I've always give advise to people around me. Regardless if he's from facebook, MSN or even email from various provider. I guess I've lost my motivation to work at the current moment.

A conversation strike my heart as we're both watching the movie 按非他命. He asked,"I thought you were suppose to take care of me?" I replied,"Suddenly it happens that you've been taking care of me." His respond,"You have to take care of me, I'm bottom." I wonder if he has yet to forget that we're both bottoms to begin with. I don't have the ability to take care of myself nowadays. At least not without a job. And as far as it seems, I might have lost my way. I guess a time would come where he will leave me. I hope it's soon. For the longer it goes. The longer the pain would be. But I'm just not ready to let go. I'll leave the sole decision to him.

Broken Wings Of The Moon

2010-04-28T03:38:00.000-07:00

Broken Wing

I know this will not remain forever
However it's beautiful
Your eyes,hands and your warm smile
They're my treasure
It's hard to forget
I wish there was a solution
Don't spend your time in confusion
I'll turn back now and spread

(*)My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with
My broken wings how far should I go drifting in the wind
Higher and higher in the light
My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with
My broken wings how far should I go drifting in the wind
Across the sky, just keep on flying

夏夜晚風的月梦

2010-04-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

夏夜晚風

夏夜裡的晚風吹拂著你在我懷中
你的秀髮蓬鬆纏繞著我隨風擺動
月亮掛在星空牽絆著你訴情衷
有你味道的風就是我還在等待的愛

一個夏夜晚風的愛
一顆寂寞的心的愛
一個還在等待的愛

不知道怎麼搞的最近老是做這個夢
可能是我痴情或者是我太笨
總之夢很美
你也很美
只是我還在等

燈火閃著餘波隨著你的呼吸移動
你說你想入夢我的臂窩有你的夢
將你輕輕捧起讓你在我耳邊細語
夏夜的風有你就是我還在等待的愛

Forgotten Sorrow Of The Moon

2010-03-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

Don't cry for me, how easy love has gone.
Try to see, how deep my despair is
Come the winds of fate and time
Take all my tearful memories

Call out to thee sing your name in sweet harmony
But only echoes fade away
Crying breeze to thee ever moment with chiming wind
Where has gone silent tears

Don't sigh for me, your hate rings false to me
Try to see, the shards of history
Darkness fills my heart and I
Laugh loud at all that's passed us by
Call out to thee sing your name in sweet harmony
The wind blows endlessly

Roaming around whirling world rough breath in dark
Cruel blades and tears in sorrowful days
Bumming away hollow hopes wrong pray for god
Where the angels has gone so I need
Weep myself out gently, in a blind

Roaming around whirling world rough breath in dark
Cruel blades and tears in sorrowful days
Bumming away hollow hopes wrong pray for god
Where the angels has gone so I need
Weep myself out gently, in a blind

Please come to me, come dusk the past will flee.
Try to see, the new dawn brings hope faintly

forgotten sorrow mp3 | lyrics

free music downloads | music videos | pictures

Moon For Resignation

2009-10-12T00:16:00.000-07:00

Yes! I'm resigning from my current job. Which is boring and dead. I can relate myself in many ways to death. But never to work. Thus, getting a new job change would be nice. A change of view and job scope. I remember when I first enter this field of customer service, I felt satisfied. The feeling of able to assist people getting the things that they wanted and at the same time helping yourself to get some bread to eat. Few friends would said I'm too dedicated. But It my way of doing things. So, if my customer/clients are happy, so am I.

The last working day would be on the 7th of November 2009 with Cubinet Interactive. I was very happy working here. But sadly, I know when it's my time to go. Call me stupid or whatever. I know I should leave only after getting my bonus. Guessed I send in my resume a little bit too early. Since I got the job offer, I might as well take it.

So, adios QBNut! I'm so kicking you out of my life. The only thing that is holding me back is I dunno if I wanna hold a farewell party. But I seriously doubt that I would be anyway. Not like I'm much appreciated by the management. The only one that does, is my manager. Such a pity that even he cannot do anything to hold me with the company.

Next step, is when I need to start work. It'll be on the 16th of November. I hope I'll be ready by then. Mandy from HR will give me a call 1 week earlier. Just to ensure that everything is ready by then. So, a new adventure awaits.

For the time, I'm happy with teh time spent with my boy. We're playing online games together now. Namely, Dragconica. I just need him to level up. Then we can go do missions together. I've switch over to Aion! The new english base P2P game from NCSoft! Great game! But unfortunately my PC specification is just slightly above their minimum requirement. I'm not too sure if I wanna upgrade or completely get a new PC. Maybe Upgrade minor stuff. But will plan and see how everything goes.

Signs Of The Moon II

2009-09-22T11:13:00.001-07:00

Checked my current health status, everything seems to be ok now. Maybe I was stressed without knowing. Why stressed? Definitely job related. Further details will be lay out at below.

Life being with someone you've fallen deeper & deeper in love with is not easy. But it's not too difficult either. Depends on the situation. Like last week, my bf, Fong, insisted that we go out walk around with friends. But to my dismay, a friend had some emergency and can't make it. Thus, canceling everything. So me & my boy just went out for a dinner and movie.

We dine at BTS' Kenny Roger's. Not a bad place. But I'll say teh chicken quality that day was not up to my expectation. But still good. We both ate until very full.

We walk around abit looking for something to do. My eyes kept on the teddy bears as I remember my promised to Xiao Yu, a friend of mine which I promised to get him a bigger teddy bear.

We went for G-Force. We took the best seatings as we arrived early to collect our tickets. Row C seats 5&6. We wanted to take a picture inside the cinema hall. But sadly, the light were never on. So we walk out to the exit and took short snap shot.

We hop around borders. I didn't get to find the music section. But the shop was closing anyway. So we head to the exit. Play games awhile and then sleep. Which explain why I didn't blog yesterday.

Work wise is getting me demoralised and depressing. The people inside the room thinks I can handle both products. Which is still ok. Until they announced that tehy want people back at night shift. Which make me feel evil and wanna demote myself back to normal staff. That way, I don't need to care about the stuff anymore. But this may make me need to consider a few things. But guess I just need to wait til this friday to confirm everyting.

Signs Of The Moon

2009-09-08T04:48:00.000-07:00

I was having abit of heart pain yesterday night. It was the same as the week before when I went shopping with my BF. It's a short stroke of pain. Then heart rate has stronger and faster. And my feet went cold. Results, when to see my company's panel clinic. The DR hope that there was something that he can do. But unfortunately the interval of the time I had this was too long before he can get an accurate result. So, will take 1 step at a time again. if it happens again, i will take immediate action.

The Matching Of The Moon

2009-09-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

I've introduce B to E. E was my BF's friend. E was a cute guy. Extremely good kisser & good in bed as well. How I know? Don't ask. B was a friend introduced to me by another friend. Although I was single during the introduction with B, B expresses feelings for me and hope to try being together. But sadly, due to my smoking issue, we didn't make it. Knowing B's characteristic, he's not the type of guy who know what sort of the other guy he wants as his boyfriend. Funny that shortly after the introduction, E is in good term with B. Althought I heard from B, he's not ready for a relationship yet. But E is already all head over heels with B. At first, I thought B would not care much bout E. But after a chat session with B last Saturday, I think B has started some sparks. I really wanna know how their things are going now. I wonder...

I might have hurt my neck when I sleeping on friday night. As I woke up on Saturday morning, I found that my neck was hurting like hell. So I went back to bed. As soon as I lay down, I couldn't get up the normal way. Luckily by pressing down on some certain ponts on the part where it hurts most, I manage to get up and get some medical ointment. Sunday came as there was still pain. so rest more after lunch. I receive an unwanted sms from someone I deleted from my phonebook and facebook. Asking how to get to my place from the LRT station. I didn't reply as I was still sleeping. Not to mention snoring outloud. As claimed as my BF said so. Then my phone rang. That guy still dare to call me and woke me up. Then after I found out is that SOB, I hang up. He dare to go text my BF saying I'm rude! And tell me to go die. This fella is like so god damn thick face even I do not how to label him up. I told my BF yesterday that I've already ended my friendship with such a person. I used my BF phone to exchange some text messages. I hold back in saying some of the nastiest things to him anyway. Since he hate smoking people so much, we shouldn't be friends in the first place anyway. I notice a friend in my facebook, T that he accidentally broke his glasses. So, T went to joke that he's like a masquerade now. So I told him that he better do something about it as halloween is still far away. And that thick face idiot has to barge in thinking that I was telling him that. I totally ignore his existence as I was busy with my work. But still can find the time to reply T's status in facebook. After finished with my task, I only notice that I've regretted that I shouldn't have go soft on him yesterday. But now I guess it's too late. Might as well live and let live.

Working was rather funny for the passed 1 week. The Team Leader's Meeting, my manager asked how was my team's moral. I mention they are at P2 level. as in basement. As for me, I'm on G. If Nic was here to notice this, he'll know I'm lying. I was basically using the metaphor of the floor level. My manager decided that the leaders should gather up for a dinner meeting. Date? this coming friday. But location and time has yet to be decided yet. Guess I have to wait.

谢安琪 - 喜帖街

2009-09-02T01:58:00.001-07:00

忘掉种过的花　重新的出发　放弃理想吧
别再看　尘封的喜帖　你正在要搬家
捉得起　人应该接受　都有日倒下
其实没有一种安稳快乐　永远也不差
就似这一区　曾经称得上美满夹天下
但霎眼　全街的单位　快要住满乌鸦
好景不会每日常在　天梯不可只往上爬
爱的人没有一生一世吗　大概不需要害怕
(忘掉爱过的他)当初的喜帖金箔印着那位他
裱起婚纱照那道墙及一切美丽旧年华明日同步拆下
(忘掉有过的家)小心摆梳化雪柜及两份红茶
温馨的光景不过借出都祈拿回吗
等不到下一代是吗

忘记砌过的沙　回忆的堡垒　刹那已倒下
面对这浮起的荒土　你注定学会潇洒
阶砖不会拒绝磨蚀　窗花不可幽禁落霞
有感情就会一生一世吗　又再婉惜有用吗
(忘掉爱过的他)当初的喜帖金箔印着那位他
裱起婚纱照那道墙及一切美丽旧年华明日同步拆下
(忘掉有过的家)小心摆梳化雪柜及两份红茶
温馨的光景不过借出　都祈拿回吗
终须会时辰到　别怕

First Impact On The Moon

2009-08-12T02:49:00.000-07:00

A friend text me on Friday and ask how was I doing and everything. We ended up with threesome with him and 1 of my friend. I stayed awake until next morning and hope to start another session. But somehow failed. So I rested for awhile when my BF came back. When I woke up I found my BF was not around. Then I text him to check where he is. Found out he was at home. My new house mate was around. We chatted in his room until my BF came back again. We sleep well that night. But I woke up around 10am and hope to get my BF to wake and get breakfast together. But he failed to wake up and made me waited and starved. I was very upset. But when he woke up, I didn't bother his existence as well. Shortly after he's go out, I started to cry and left for cybercafe to do something to make me happier, ONLINE GAMES! But shortly he text me and apologized and mention that he has bought me some food. Only that when he returned, I was not at home.

When I about to finish my time in cyber cafe, a called a friend of mine to inform him to try get the set item from the game for me. Then he ask when am I going to pay for the internet bills and get connected so I can play at home as well. I told him that I'm not going to pay so soon. But my BF will apply for the line. He ask what will happen to the line when we break up? I told him that's not gonna happen. As I felt my BF is the one that I'm going to be together with forever. then my friend responded that my BF didn't fit the description of the person 1 bit. After I've cold down and when home. Another major sadness struck me again. The food he bought was McDonald's Fish-o-Filet. But the FUCKING CAT before I DID! I was damn pissed and sad at the same time. He came back later that night. We cuddle in bed as normal.

Right now, I only know that I love him and no one else. Happy memories of having me together with him are the only things I can give. I don't know how long we'll last. Even if that guy really show up when I reach 32yo. He'll have to moved mountains before he can get my love in return.

First Asteroid Hits The Moon

2009-08-05T00:38:00.000-07:00

While hugging to sleep last night. My BF suddenly pops up the question,"How long have we been together?" For a moment, my heartache so much that I don't really know what my surname was. When I asked why, he replied nothing. I don't know what he has in mind. He never spoke his mind out. I always felt he's hidding something from me. Then today, after he drove me to the LRT station, he sent me an sms. Asking if I'm ok. Because I look kinda sad, or still sleepy. I didn't reply. Because I know I'm a bit moody when I don't get enough sleep.

Later today he pops up in MSN. I ask if he has visit the doctor yet. Yes, my BF is not well these few days. Our conversation in MSn goes down as below:-

Me: You song la~
Me: dear dear cannot anal you until then >.<
BF: Last time the medicine only one week ma. Then can already
BF: .... You sound like i dont like make love v u.... Sorry o...
Me: haha
Me: but what to do... boy boy always no mood coz too tired ^^
BF: ... Dear dear get someone else lo ...
Me: boy boy dun wan me?
BF: No ar.
Me: then dun tell me to get someone else la... *cry*

The one highlighted in bold nearly shattered my fragile heart into gazillion pieces. Then the song played gave me some meanings. Sharing it with you all here are the lyrics. Hope those can understand.

軟硬天師 - 愛式

瀟瀟灑灑不是愛嗎? 生生死死先算愛嗎?
瘋瘋顛顛先毽得漂亮嗎? 簡簡單單不是愛嗎?
輾輾轉轉先算愛嗎? 反反覆覆先毽R得快樂嗎?

你話拖住你手日日戊簳陀
時時錫你仲要晚晚都黎
同人結婚講一句我願意
但系甘系咪等於我愛你
望住我肯上黎屋企坐
記得我生日時時送禮物
應承過無論點都殿尼渻
但系甘系咪等於你愛我

開開心心不是愛嗎?
辛辛苦苦不算愛嗎?
真的東西怎溫亃這樣假
飄飄忽忽不似愛嗎?
清清楚楚可算愛嗎?
一聲一聲想你概_太假

就算我唔識你或者你太遲黎
我一個人睇戲尋晚你同巨擒被
我已經記唔起我十年無見你
但系甘系咪等於我唔愛你
你著巨件衫晚晚都甘夜番
任你點樣玩有幾個比你揀
你從來無講過可能我睇錯
但系甘系咪等於你唔愛我
你猜我估你勝你敗
男界女界正常系變態
其實我值唔值到底你識唔識
究竟我地最愛系乜野式
系真定系扮系軟定硬
系蝕定系賺系濃定淡
白撞黑紅加綠抑或藍溝藍
你話愛究竟仲有邊個識

瀟瀟灑灑不是愛嗎? 生生死死先算愛嗎?
瘋瘋顛顛先毽R得漂亮嗎? 簡簡單單不是愛嗎?
輾輾轉轉先算愛嗎? 反反覆覆先毽得快樂嗎?

我俾你上你又為我落
你俾我前又俾我後
我做完就訓你訓醒就走
但系甘系咪等於你愛我愛你
你話唔俾我住巨肯俾我食
我要你唔肯巨系我唔得
你唔要得唔得但系巨系咪等於你愛我愛你

瀟瀟灑灑不是愛嗎? 生生死死先算愛嗎?
瘋瘋顛顛先毽得漂亮嗎? 簡簡單單不是愛嗎?
輾輾轉轉先算愛嗎? 反反覆覆先毽R得快樂嗎?

其實青青春春干乾濕濕深深淺淺咿咿挹挹
斜紋代表大方圓點代表爽朗體貼代表超薄
碎花代表乾爽粉紅真皮燙金凹凸紋
防水樽領盒裝直銷十二碼通用
數碼的確涼乾濕兩用

"我念!我都系鍾意你條瑩光!"

The Scariest Moon

2009-07-14T11:12:00.000-07:00

To all my friends, which is it that you think is the scariest part of my personality? I finally found the song that Edison used for his ringtone. It's a very nice touching song. With my kind of music. The song shows as in he's person being sang in that particular song. I go and be bitchy out of boredom, and send him thy chorus lyrics. replied by asking what it meant. The small exchanges of sms is as below:

Me: It's your ringtone's de lyrics. Sorry I cannot be your lover. But I can be your brother and take care of you if you wan.
Edison: What you mean? You take care of me as brother? Can I come back stay with you?
Me: Yes. Can take care of you as brother. And you can come back here to stay when you ready.
Edison: Really? Why you treat me so good?
Me: You don't want? Ok lor...
Edison: Sure I want.... I really want....

Then I close my phone and goes to sleep. My boy aggree that this is the best possible way to help him. Well, since I'm busy this weekend, so I can't be bother with Edison coming back to stay here for this week time. Me and My boy have plans this coming weekend with an invited guest. Yes! The movie! Confirm that the movie will be would be at Times Square, around 9pm+ and would be in Premier Class if Harry Potter is showed for that class of seats. After movie it'll be a long Saturday night for me and my boy.

Things at work haven't been very pleasant as well. I just receive news that I'm the next possible candidate to take over the Leader's position for Celestial Destroyer Online. This game is like totally dead. But I loved some of the game features, but hate most of it of course. The economy of the game is bad as well. I have to return to the office in the afternoon to attend the leaders meeting. I can only hope that I don't have to work back in the morning. It's boring and I hate the time when it's rush hour when I'm going home. Hate the traffic.

Completed Stages Of The Moon

2009-07-07T11:02:00.000-07:00

Now, everything is resolved. He chooses to leave. He can't accept the fact that he has to share his lover with someone else that he don't like at all. I don't mind that. But the fact it hurts me when he don't tell me directly. My dear BF took the courage to sms him and check up if he still wanna come back. I was tired. Really tired as it's consuming my mental and physical energy to worry about someone that don't really gives a damn about what you feel. Then comes Sunday night, I sms him saying that i felt he has someone to take care of him and wished him all the best. No replied. Monday morning, I text message him to ensure that he woke up and goes to work. He responded and stating that he's staying with his cousin and has no one to take care of him. I just replied ok and good bye. later that night, he sms saying that he has no phone credit to call out or sms. Asked if I could share RM5 of my phone credit to him. When he first brought this new phone number, I've already share RM5 to him. Then when he mention he ran out of credit again, I share another RM10 with him. I send an sms before sharing my final time of RM5 to him. As I've said to him in the text message, I share the phone credits was in hoping that he can contact me in time of need. Since I know he spend the credits on calling to other people. I advised him to use the public phone next time. He called shortly after that. I didn't answer. I didn't bother to answer. Nor I bother to reply his sms after that. The choices has been made. He choose to see the other part of me. Which, my BF scare most.

It's silly of me to go back and think about it. Like how I would have never suspect nor notice. He was always in the same certain area. I suspected it for quite some time. But never had the evidence to proves him guilty. So, I took my chances, letting him go as he like. I'll reconsider if he ever wanna return here. Talk about inconvinient. I admit it's not so convinient for me to go to work as well. But we, the people whom stayed here, have our way with public transport. A little sacrificial to get our asses to work. In return, our pay for the job we done. Maybe he used to be a prince. Can't take up the effort of switching buses and LRTs to get to the work destination.

I'm in my poverty stage again. My instant noodles is already fully stock up for this month. Go ahead. Laugh. It's a means of survival. And I bet some people don't have what it means to survive on 1 pack of instant noodles per day. For me, been there, done that. Even 1 loaf of bread is more filling than instant noodles, this, I can assure you. Life living expenses is hard nowadays, I know my boy wanted more. But I enjoy being in this way. My boy is the lazy type. He don't feel like doing all the hard work. What am I expecting anyway? He's a bottom after all. But despise all he had done. He manage to melt my Ice Wall and reach my heart. That's why I love him for what he is now. And what he will be come in the future. It's another day. Brand new sun will rises from the east again. Time to face new chalenge up ahead. This week, I have to deal with all the loneliness at home. My boy won't be coming back until Wednesday night. He's rather busy this week. And even in the weekends. Well, we have already planned to watch Harry Potter And the Half Blood Prince on the 1st weekend when it's in the cinema. I can't wait seriously.

Unsettling Of The Moon

2009-07-01T14:37:00.000-07:00

Call me heartless and lost of family touch. Being brought up from a broken has it's advantages and disadvantages. Advantages would be not needing any assistance from family, your brother or mother or sister or even other relative. The disadvantages would be you could care less about what your family things about you. And may even cut off connections from your family as well.

The point is that E has finally came back. But the settling feels that he still wanna go home to his family and hoping that they would accept him back. And so he left for Cameron again in the evening last night. I don't know if he cannot take it as he have to share me with Fong. But if I was in his shoe, I wouldn't have try to return back to my family in such short time. Maybe I know better, or maybe I don't know anything. I just hope the best for him. I know that staying with me is not the best option. But it's better than staying few days at a friend's place then moved to another. Since he decided, I have let him go and face it. But I can't really help but feeling that he's hiding something from me. his police report about his missing I/C, the one that show his year of birth is being scratch off. Which is making me very curious. And also, he suppose to go and make a new I/C by now. But knowing that it maybe his 1st case, I just inform him that it's time for him to go and make a new I/C. But the point is why he moving away from me again? This time he said he'll be back on Saturday. I don't know if he knows. I am the one giving chances for him to be with me. I guess it's just another waiting I have to deal with.

So far, I see E is rather hesitant about coming out to his friends. It was this incident last night that he called me while he was crying. All due to his friend found out that he's PLU. But where as his facebook wrote something else. But I really don't know if he knows that our circle is not small. If your friend know that you are PLU and cannot accept that, then they were never your friend from the very beginning. This is what others have told me. But for family wise, once they decided to give up on me, I will give up on them, permenant. No question asked. But hey, it's just me. Solely depends on the reactions of other people. One can never have guessed. As my dear friend Nic used to say, or maybe still saying. Love me, hate me, you still see me.

Working life seem dead boring. So, my company planned a trip to Pangkor Island. It was a nice island. But since I've been there before, it's nothing new to me. Decided not to go. Besides, I can take this chance to be with fond more. Because, he's starting complain about the changes. During May, I was working in the morning shift for recuperating my health back to normal conditions. We slept hugging each other always.

Met a friend whom was missing like always after our first & second meet-up. But she was busy all this while. She happens to drop by to midvalley and so she asked me out for a short meet up. Which, I'm very happy of course. And Jason is finally coming back from Malacca. He'll be staying with Brent. Also another friend we met during the little gathering. Hope to see him tomorrow for breakfast at bukit bintang for McD's breakfast. It's been too long I've taken their breakfast. Which is yummy of course! I'll never have enough anyway. That's why I'm saving my tummy for it now. Just hope that my gastric doesn't comes first. Or, I'll be ending up at the nearest hospital instead. Just need to take continue walking this road. It's all still foggy and blurry at this moment. One can only hope that the wind will blow to have a clearer path. It'll take time. But I got eternity.

Obessed Of The Moon

2009-06-30T14:33:00.001-07:00

Disappointment Of The Moon

2009-06-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

So, I wanted to ask how many of us has this thing called 'LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT'? To be honest, I've never experience this. So, I get someone whom told me that he has feelings for me when he he first saw me. Then when he said he has no place to live, I invited him to stay with me. So, he go and pack-up all his things and come back here. But the surprising part is why is he taking so long to come back? Now he's in Kepong. Suppose to have come back since last friday. Then DELAYED to Saturday for Friday might be abit too late for him to come back. So, we arranged to go back on Saturday when i finish work in the morning. He asked me to give him a wake up call. But turn out that he off his phone. I stayed awake on that Saturday until he switch on his phone. I can accept the excuse that his phone is faulty and off by itself. But then he told me he will off his phone when he's sleeping. Then he kept hesitating. Saying Monday would be convinient for him to come back as the person whom he's staying with can drive him back. And, now, it's already Tuesday. So he said he want to come back before he start working on the 1st of July. Which is this coming Wednesday. Now he's still at his friend's place. I may have feelings for him. But he continues to be like this, then I might as well give up.

News Flash Update. He told me that he found it hard and heartache to see me with my current bf together. I know, he's having a tought time. But what about my feelings? I'm still human as well. Currently, I'm so upset that it's making restless. To think that my mom wanted to give him money to continue his studies. I just gave him 3 options earlier. So, I'll let him have eternity to think over it. I cannot love if I don't feel love. You can say it's a mirror effect that I've develope after having so many disappointment in my life. And yes, I'm able to love 2 person at the same time. For this I blame my dead father for being so flirtatious. Must have been from his side of personality.

Late been having restless days & nights. The only time when I feel more comfortable is when I'm working and I can forget all of it. I can still recall the dream I had last night. I dream about my mom & dad. They were like trying to work things out together. And I see my little brother too. We're like talking about food and arrangements. The only funny thing is that my father answer the phone with a TV remote. Don't ask. I know it's abit of insane. But there's part of me saying that this could be possible. Perhaps in the far away future.

Parenting Of The Moon

2009-06-11T10:32:00.001-07:00

What happen when your boyfriend broke up with you and you won't accept it? What would you do actually? And how would he handle it? Things that happens too much around LOVE is really hard to handle. But would you get even and tell his family that he's gay? Destroying his life with the family in the process? We all know what will happen if our parents are not that open about homosexuality. I've heard so many true life stories. And some even more worst when it comes to being open about your sexuality.

I must admit that I got lucky. My superior doesn't mind it. As long as I'm performing. And as for my family, I'm just happy that they are not doing anything to change me. Including my mom, which is a major relief for me. In my past Journal, Blog or whatever you called it, you people who read it would come to know of Edison. He just broke off with his boyfriend. And his boyfriend got so mad and not accepting it, he went to tell Edison's family about his sexuality. Now, Edison has been kick out of the house and completely cut of from his family by any means, including financial support. He maybe 24, but still a student. He has 4 more months to graduate. Now being homeless, and unable to continue his studies, he would be devastated. Lucky for him to have known me earlier. I'll be taking him in to stay with me for the time being, at least until he can support himself to moved out. I have to admit that my place is a shit hole. Go asked those that really been to my house.

Meanwhile, I hope that everything will be ok in the later time to come. Have to come up with a plan to help out Edison & myself as well, so my boy doesn't get too financially burdened in taking care of me. I propose we eat maggie me for 1 whole month, next month. I know some of you will say I'm stupid and he's lying and so on. But it's a risked I'm willing to take. I just don't want another life being screw by society's acceptance about our sexuality. Well, basically, this is a burden I'm going to take sooner or later. Might as well try to get it on and do my best to accustom it.

Rumours Of The Moon

2009-05-25T01:24:00.000-07:00

I was working in the admin office for a few days. Then only I've realised that I had an admirer there. She doesn't know of my sexuality yet. She asked, I replied her with another question. But since I don't wanna lead her to any confusion. So I've asked her out on friday for a movie. Provided if she remembers. They've ask me if I was in a relationship with one of my colleague, Jenny. I sort of freaked out on how they all jump to conclusion saying so. They said if she had talk about secret stuffs and so on and everything related to her personal life. I said yes. They immediately they confirm that I'm having some sort of relationship with Jenny. Then I told him that my superior also talk about this personal life and stuff like that, then asked her if I have any relationship with him instead.

Last night, I've ask my boy if he was happy being together with me. He said yes, but with a price. He said that he's not earning enough money to take me go out and everything. Everything he did is never enough. He don't wanna stay at home because he don't actually has a room to sleep in and his mother always watch TV til very late at night. He cried in my arms again for the second time. I guess I'm a bad lover cause I made him cried again. This time I cried with him. I don't know how to console him. And I really don't know what will happen if one day he's without me. I'm just hoping for a better future for him now. Of course, I need to do some struggling for myself too. Wishing all the best for our time being together. But he do know that one day someone will come and take me away. I just don't know when. Now I just hope that person never comes.

The Sepration Of The Moon

2009-05-18T02:01:00.000-07:00

My 2nd BF called and ask me if I have some money to lent him. My reply was no. I'm sadden enough that whenever he always called me was because he needed something from me. He didn't even knows that what he said hurts me as well. That's why I let him taste the feeling of jumping into the relationship so soon without getting to know me well enough to be with me. But after a due consideration. I sms him and ask for a break up. I won't know what his reaction. Nor I care what his feelings. Obviously, he's yet to know the real meaning of being in a relationship. Nor that he can handle it yet. I feel I'm already blessed that I'm have my 1st BF. Even thought I'll curse the day when his family founds out about his sexuality. Like an old chinese proverb,"Paper cannot wrap the fire." Thus, the truth will eventually be known. I just hope that every single day, he's happy with me.

Being a true friend to me is difficult. Being my man makes it worse than difficult. I just hope that other won't so easily fall for me for no particular reason. I think most people get the wrong impression of seeing somebody & going steady. Seeing someone is like a dating process of getting to know each other. many know this, no doubt. But they put their emotions in it before they really can deal with other personality and aspect of their lives. When one had fully understand each other and able to be compatible, then only they can go on a steady relationship. I just hope my friends around me will understands this.

The New Moons Of Tidings

2009-05-14T23:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, a friend, recently known, came back to KL yesterday. Ask for a meet up in town after I finished work. I comply. But the hilarious part was that I was not alone with him. Join with 5 other friends. At first, we were to meet up at Berjaya Times Square. On the third floor, nearby OldTown Cafe. The I met the 22 years old Chikopeh, jason, and along with his other friend, Brent. Then we need to wait for Jason's other friend. It was only a short wait. Then he show up with his boyfriend together. Lovely couple, Edison & Edwin! Felt abit bad that my boy can't join me on this outing. And then after dinner, we meet up with jason's hometown friend. They planned to go for a movie, but instead due to the time limits some of us had, we decide to cancel movie and take a rest time in OldTown Cafe. After a short while, I had to part with them. Need to rush back as a friend of mine said he wanna come over to copy some movie from my computer. But unfortunately, he was on his super sonic jet plane and "FFKed" me.

Luckily, everything is still well. I enjoy the night bullying Jason. Exchanged phone number with Edison & Edwin. They smsed me later that night. Althought I Should be in bed, but I waited for my boy instead. Then we spend the night together with a little chit chat before I doze of like a baby. I dunno why. I felt that my boy kept hiding stuff from me. There's lots of things he doesn't want me to know nor doesn't wan me to help out as well. Yes, I know might not be able to do anything at all. But I wanna know how he feel. I wanna be there for him as well.

Perhaps it's what some of my friends told me. It's still going to be a disasterous relationship. I'm begining to feel I'm better off alone.

Rihanna's Moon

2009-05-05T00:04:00.000-07:00

Now this be the last time you did me wrong
No more laying up in your arms
No calling, saying you want me back
I'm packing my bags, what you think about that?

Stayed at home like a good girl do
But tonight baby you got me sad and blue
I just heard about the girl in your car now, kissing at the bar
Got me crying

[Chorus:]
Ohhh, you got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Oh you took my love
Now you got me like whoahhh
You got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Why'd you have to take my love
Whoahh

And you can be mad at me all you want
I ain't coming in, I'll be waiting out front
Coming out the door with your girlfriend
You did me wrong boy tell me where our love is

Stayed at home like a good girl do
But tonight baby you got me sad and blue
I just heard about the girl in your car now, kissing at the bar
Got me crying

[Chorus:]
Ohhh, you got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Oh you took my love
Now you got me like whoahhh
You got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Why'd you have to take my love
Whoahh

Now this is the sound of a broken heart
There's only one reason why we're apart
She never woulda made it to your car
If it wasn't for the club, I'd still have my love
We would still have us
I'd still have my love
We would still have us

But now we're like whoahhhh

Ohhh, you got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Oh you took my love

But now, now we're like whoahhh
You got me hatin' on the club
You took my love
Oh you took my love

Couldn't post the songs here from Imeem.com
No idea why & don't ask me.

The Bottomless Moon

2009-04-29T15:56:00.001-07:00

Nothing much to brag about seriously. Just that wanted to note that I had a funtastic weekend. Hosted a chem party of four at my place. enjoy all the moment of it. but due to the problem that I can't get an erection, I became the bottom guy there. All three of poke me and I enjoyed them of course! Sunday night was much of the same. Instead, it was some guys coming over, friends of a friend, they top my and my 2nd. Fun part was they all didn't last more than 30 minutes. But able to cum more than 1 time. Then came to monday evening, my 1st came over and top me. It's his first time fucking me so hard and he stayed hard all the time until he cum. I rate that superb~~!!

Work has been boring lately. but thanks to facebook & playfish's Restaurant City, I was able to keep myself occupied with the game. Switching back to morning next week for a month, I hope I can change back to normal. But of course, I believe I'll be late on one to two days of work. Need to know when I can get the bus. Furthermore, can't alway depends my boy boy to drive me to the LRT station. Dare not asked him to drive me to my office. It'll be freaking jam all the way.

Everything seem to be going well for the time being. Just hoping it'll be better.

Passing Of The Moon

2009-04-17T15:50:00.000-07:00

I've suddenly came to my e-mail storage of the past and old. There are things and photo that I kept. Some gave me memories of so good that I had long forgotten. Some are people whom had been so nice and was such a dear to me. I recalled 1 that send 1 Mp3 to me and called me all the way from London and chatted for an hour. I miss those days. Some of the mail contains jokes I secretly stoled from my late father's laptop, while he was still around of course. A picture of someone that was so blurred that i eventually when all the way to Ipoh, and to Johor as well. The old memories. One could have never forgets how it all started. On how I first communicate with the world on internet.

Looking back now, everything making me feels abit more older than before. Those were the days. Those were the days.

p/s: if djcarmen decides to through another the old her & the new her, ask her to wait til she's 30!!! XD

I love Moon

2009-04-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

我爱你 - SHE

从你眼睛看着自己最幸福的倒影

握在手心的默契是明天的指引

无论是远近什么世纪

在天堂拥抱或荒野流离

我爱你我敢去未知的任何命运

我爱你我愿意准你来跋扈地决定世界边境

偶尔我真的不懂你又有谁真懂自己

往往两个人多亲密是透过伤害来证明

像焦虑不安我就任性

怕泄漏你怕所以你生气

我爱你让我听你的疲惫和恐惧

我爱你我想亲你倔强到极限的心

我撑起所有爱围成风雨的禁地

当狂风豪雨想让你喘口气

被划破的信心需要时间痊愈

梦想牵着怀疑未来看不清

就紧紧地拥抱去传递

能量和勇气我爱你

我爱你我想去未知的任何命运

我爱你让我听你的疲惫和恐惧

我爱你我想亲你倔强到极限的心

哪里都一起去一起仰望星星

一起走出森林一起品尝回忆

一起误会妒忌一起雨过天晴

一起更懂自己一起找到意义

让我爱你

我不要没有你我不能没有你绝不能没有你

I had the suddenly feeling of need to share this song. Unexpectedly, this is the song that was from a short clip that made me superbly down. However, I ain't sure if all the words here are correct. I simply C&P from www.8ka.com. The short movie, I've linked it to my facebook. Many would have watch this long before me. Regardless, after the moody session is over. I finally calm myself down. Had a nice dinner with my first. Sadly the second made me disappointed in his reluctantcy to get along with me and my first. It's as if he has too many important issue on going. Even his computer is more important than me. I'm amazingly surprised on why he can't even spend 1 to 2 hours of his time just for a dinner and chit chat. Slowly, I'll learn and I'll move on. With or without the second.

Willy, this song might suit you very well geh. But you need to do the translation alone. Cause, I'm abit too lazy to handle this small stuff.

Is The Moon Over Thinking Or Though Less Then Should Be?

2009-04-08T15:05:00.000-07:00

Imagine this, A goes out to have sex with an old friend, B. B told the incident to C whom is a friend of A. C uses this chance to tease A.

As someone normal of course A would goes to B for questioning. So, B being question like some convict. Fine by me. But what I don't really get are the points of asking B to go public over it and throwing the frustration over this.

I'm like making up the screnerio here. If I wanted, I could make the could make the story become more & more complicated. So, yeah, maybe I should write a script and hand it over to a producer or some sort. Just like the story of Chicken Little.

One would be thinking otherwise, but I'm feeling the lack of able to have sex with my boys are what makes my mind goes wild abit. Been reading others' journals & blogs as well. So, alot of things really comes crosses my mind and lots more. Should I or should I not let my 1st know about the existence of 2nd in first place? Why I did it was I wanted to give a fair chance to the 2nd to share my life with. True that I love the 1st. But by giving the chance to 2nd, wouldn't it be better to give both of us a chance? Thus, I would definitely feel better if I come out straight to my 1st. That's why AT the very begining, I ask what would my 1st think about it. It's getting kinda complicated. I don't really know where this will lead to. But I wanted all three of us to be able to comunicate and able to accept each other as well.

If those whom have ask my msn would have no idea what's the Sub-Zero is about. Thing is, I've been too linient with my fellow staffs about following the rules of the company. I'm actually adapting my Sub-Zero personality step by step. I can't simply bring it out. Cause it won't last long.

1 Moon with 2 Earth

2009-04-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

I know this is going ot be rather hilarious to some people. While other may get jealous or somehting negative. So, as of this moment, I'm attached (as some of you know) with ONE (1) more guy. Turning this into a triangle relationship. I'm sort of getting more & more confuse now that I think about it. Ok. The 2nd guy is 25yo originated from Ipoh, Perak. And yes, he's not leng chai as well. Althought I know him so little, I can try to get along with him. He wanted to be my secret boyfriend from the start. But I find it quite presuring if I was to hide anything from my 1st. And keep on rejecting him for other reasons. I decided to come clean with my 1st, and he aggree & accepted the 2nd. Now, the only things is that wait for the 2nd to meet the 1st and see how things would go.

I'm renting out my room soon, provided if the renter going to get a job in my company. I just hope he can cope with the new things inside. My company running 12 hours shift now. And I've yet to know to if my working hours will change too. would b egreat if yes, coz extra RM300 allowance will be given. Other than, I guess should be ok.

Now I'm sitting on my desk wondering what am I to do and how to handle the things in the future. Suprisingly, there's no clear view of the future. I guess now everything will take time. One step at a time as usual.

The Moon With The Free Cester Membership

2009-03-23T14:50:00.001-07:00

OK!!! I love the taste of having the cester membership once again. But I felt that it's too short!!! I also notice that there's an error with this free membership. It's very much like an incomplete free demo. I recall cester membership was suppose to give out unlimited email correspondences. I found out just now IT WAS NOT and only limitted me with 10 emails. To my amaze, I just to to wait for the webmaster to login and check for my previous mail. Hope to get an official cester membership. Also hope it's not expensive able to do with bank-in method. Not many of us have credits cards you know. It's very much like I'm getting hooked to cester again. (can't be help since FB is sooo darnn sloooowwww~~~!!!).

Now in "Pok Kai" status. Mean I'm waiting for my salary to be ready for withdrawal this coming Wednesday. Working here is making becoming more & more retarded. And mind you, you might be head the same directions with me if you are on the same side with me. Really wish to move to another job. But currently, Kenneth said it's best that I remain here. Even though I know he's more of a using me kind of person. But I doubting his words anyway. I just don't know how much more of this insanity is going. Maybe that's why I need a vacation.

As for my relationship, I think we're both doing OK. But I have a sudden feeling that Fong wanted to take the next step. Which is moving in with me. But, I don't feel too comfortable. Should I lay down the trial basis with him? Because as of this moment, it saddens me alot when I woke up and found out I'm alone.... AGAIN!!!! I'm not sure if I can really take that. As for now, I think I really need to talk to him. Seriously, I'm not sure if I really love him. Or maybe I was too desperate to have a partner in life. This, I've already told him. I'm still very much scared. Scared of hurting people, and scared that I'll get hurt in the process as well.

I'm not really sure as of why. Seriously, I join Axcest was because it's kinda popular to display your own photo while chatting with friends in IRC or else where. And unexpectedly, I found people new & old people whom seems to have an interest to have sex with me. I find it rather odd. I'm not sure if this coming weekend i wanna hold a chem fun party at my place. I'm being abit too financially confuse at the moment. I don't wanna think this now. Scared my malfunctioning brain won't take it that much.

The Craze Moon Over Consideration

2009-03-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

Had been another splendid weekend for me. I rest abit after finishing my work at 7am on saturday morning to meet up with a new friend. after which I reach home around 11:am. I played a few round of games then sms my boy when I was going to sleep. He said I'll see him when I woke up. Althought he was suppose to showed up at 4pm plus, but I still saw him when I woke up at 7pm plus. We went out to have dinner and then came back to play games. It's until I've receive a sms from my dear friend, Gaerick, whom ask me to help him massage abit. He said I was rather good. Maybe I should start a business in this field. NOT! We had a short rest later than we went out of supper after a good session. Surprisingly, after a short session. Then we cuddle up in bed as usual.

The next morning we rushed to Times Square to catch our movie, Watchmen. I know that some people thinks this movie is a NUB, but I thought otherwise as the movie was full of story and emotions. Perhaps they failed to catch the point of the movie. Then followed by followed by dinner & we gone seperately to do our things. He needed to go to Lowyat Plaza to get some essentials for his company. I stayed and play games in the arcade. We had booked for another movie, Sayang You Can Dance. This is the 1st ever malay movie I've watched and enjoyed in years. Thumbs up for this movie. We went home for dinner after the movie. Enjoy dinner together then went home for anime. Soon after which a friend called that says he's around and ask to go for 'Yum Cha' session. I declined as my boy was rather full & tired to go out anymore. Then my best friend called and ask for the 'Yum Cha' session. This time I aggree. Thus I went out alone. We chatted about our games stuff and so on. But soon after I was tired and they gave me a ride home. My boy and I chatted for a short while then we slept. He was so tired til that he doesn't wanna wake up until it's 1pm. I force him to wake up and go to work. I slept again around 4pm to ensure I could stay up to work during this time.

Thank you Boy Boy for giving me such a splendid weekend.

The Moon's 1st 1 Week Annivesary

2009-03-11T03:03:00.000-07:00

Just counted that today's our 1st 1 week anniversary. I wonder if he remember it. But sadly, both of us are working. I doubt that we're able to do anything about it. Working life at a low position... *sigh... Unlike our Mrs. Kham, that can practically take leave and enjoy life ot the fullest, the lower levels like me have to stuck with low pay jobs and get things done before dateline.

Work begin to sucks as there's alot of changes. Yet, mutability is very low. I wonder how much longer can I cope with this changes. Or should I say, how much changes can I cope with? Another mystery.

Planned to go Obligue this weekend. But I'm not sure where this friend of mind would wanna go. Depends on it and see how. I hate to go with few people. Preferbly a bunch. So that we can take turns to watch our belongings. *Laughs

I LUV U BOY BOY~~!!

2009-03-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I
You know that if we are to stay alive
And see the peace in every eye

(Do do do do do do do .. do do do do do do do)

She had two babies
One was 6 months one was 3
In the war of '44
Every time the phone rang
Every heartbeat stinging when she thought it was gone it only hurt
Oh would her son grow to know his father?

I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over
I want to know right now what will it be
I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over
Well in the end oh will it be ... sorry

(Do do do do do do do .. do do do do do do do)

He showed up all wet
On the rainy front step
Wearing shrapnel in his skin
And the war he saw lives inside him still
It's so hard to be gentle and warm
The years passed by and now he had a grand-daughter

I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over
I want to know right now what will it be
I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over
Well in the air so will it be ...

Oooh so you look at me from across the room
You're wearing your anguish again
Believe me I know the feeling
It sucks you into the doors of anger

Oooh so dig a little more deeply
All we have is this very moment
And I don't wanna do what his father
and his father and his father did
I wanna be here now ...

So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I
You know that if we are to stay alive
And see the peace in every eye

I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over
I want to know right now what will it be
I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over
Well in the air so will it be ...

I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over
I want to know right now what will it be
I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over
Well in the air so will it be ...

(Do do do do do do do .. do do do do do do do)

So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I
You know that if we are to stay alive
And see the love in every eye

The Sleepless Moon

2009-02-24T16:21:00.001-08:00

As ridiculous as it may sound. I'm staying in office now as I try to find ways to communicate with friends just to past my time while waiting for the Team Leaders meeting today. in the meantime, I should hope salary would be out by this afternoon, so that I can have a nice lunch instead of just another mug of thick milo. Finished working at 7am, but remaining in office as the meeting is at 2:30pm. if I were to go home. I need to spend the freaking 1 1/2 hours to reach home. Rest for 1 -2 hours then have to go back to office? No way! LOL~~!!

The Moon Over Siam

2009-02-16T13:39:00.000-08:00

Another day, Another month, another valentine, alone. Today, I watch a movie from Thailand. The drama of the movie really spins my heart & my mind together. How many of you really felt the same? I'm begining to ask myself question that I've never asked before. Questions such as, am I really homosexual? If yes, what role am I? Top? I can top people, but I rarely felt the pleasure of it for myself. Bottom? That was the role when I first join the circle, but it's really hard for me to find someone that can give me the real pleasure of it. Love? I don't know even if I've really love someone. These few weeks, I've met with alot of people. Yet, I felt that I could just simply hug & kiss anyone. I mean, what is this? I've never felt so lost all this time. Is it really love that I'd felt all this time when I was with someone? Or am I that desperate to have someone? I really don't know the answers to these questions. Even if I do, what's the outcome? Only more questions...

The 17 Sky Moon

2009-02-10T11:18:00.000-08:00

I wonder how many people has actually saw this movie? Formula 17? or rather in chinese 17 岁的天空. Love how the whole movie goes. But the contradiction I found about this whole story was the gossip about other people. 绝世坏男人，白铁男. This fella just so happen to be innocent. I'm sure you'll all agree on my stand when or if you finished the movie. Eventually, that's how our life goes around. You met someone new, wish to know more. Then suddenly, puff! You got into some juicy gossip about this guy or that girl. Then the next thing you knew, YOU removed yourself from his/her connection. having nothing to do with him/her. What's the reason you asked? Simply answer, you heard some bad news about him/her. Here's the things for us to really go through. Was all the rumours true? Just like in this movie. We know the other guy going through some trauma. How many others know about it? If you loved this movie once, then you'll probably remember a scene where they come upon an old man waiting to cross a road. You'll understand when you think back or rewatch this movie.

Another year has come and Chinese New Year was finally over, with just a blink of an eye. Or so that's how we, chinese, would say it. Time flies. It really does. It's also one of the main reason why I always remind people around me to let them know what to treasure. And what to let go. I recall a line when I was in my primary school. The teachers like to paint proverbs all over the school's walls in english. "Time Wait For No Man". True! But in our case, you can remove the "Man" to gay, girl, lesbo or bi. Not to mention that suddenly i realiase that I'm down to my last Rm100 for the month. Need to spend it slowly. LOL! So after my breakfast today I'll really need to cut down abit more. But most probably I'll be sending the money on my ciggie addictions. Afterwhich, I'll skip all out until a good timing. I'm expecting the salary to be delayed and giving around 28th Feb for this time as my HR Exec inform me of such. I wonder how long I can last. Althought, I've been promoted. I've yet to receive my promotion letter from the management. i'm rather eager to get my new salary as it would really cover my house whole expenses. Especially when MPAJ suddenly flies their love letters to you. Luckily, it's not douse with perfume! Otherwise it'll be a terrible shocking news.

Other than this much, I guess I dun have much to share. Mom went back to London yesterday. So, I'll see if she can keep her promise. Which I'll doubt anyway. Lost the faith. Will soon losing her as well. I guess I'm used to it. Too many people come and go anyway. Oh! And since Valentine is coming, I wish all my lovey dovey couple out there(and around me) a great and fantastic Valentine. Yeah, I'll be spending my Valentine alone as usual. Maybe I should go to a movie.

.....

2009-02-05T15:09:00.003-08:00

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The Chemical Moon

2009-02-04T14:50:00.001-08:00

Been quite sometimes since I had this much fun. Sadly the reactions of such splendor time has a bad outcome which resulted a negative mixture of emotion. I somehow wanted it more as if I've become addictive for more sex. Yes, sex! I wanted more. Not those casual kind of fun that most people had. Mine include intake of certain substance. I don't know why. But the urges are like really strong. Due to this matter, I got some bad respond from the people around me. Somewhat being left alone and not being able to do anything about it, I just push everyone away. The good if you may asked? I found those whom know me for years failed to really understands me. Those who doesn't didn't gave much of a damn. I've always said “There has to be an equal balance of Yin & Yang”. Now, I guessed as much is the balance of it. So, nothing much. It's just another stage. I should be able to get through it like normal. Which I've always (sadly) did.
Valentine's Day is just around the corner. After reading Tythus' journal on then I've realized it. I wonder how I would past my valentine's this year. Would it be pretty much the same as last year? Or I might get to meet someone along. But above all, there's always hope as I'll have a great valentine. Having high hopes may have higher disappointments. Therefore, after much consideration. I don't think I would give much hope nor faith in such. But I would have to admit that I would get damn envious on those lovely couples walking around, holding hands, hugging each other & kissing as well. I wonder if they knew if they made some pretty lonesome people like me envious. The worst time of life which I had to go through are the major celebrations which I so treasured to spend with that special someone would never came. Probably never would. At least for the next 3 years. Or so said my best friend whom asked his mother to read my future. I wonder what I would be doing to make him fall head over heel for me. I dare not imagine. I could be so damn freaking desperate I might be pointing a gun on his head!
Life is a never ending story that we write it slowly, day by day, month by month and so on. How would you write your own never ending story? It's really for you to know and for others to find out.

The Moon Over Mom's Dinner

2009-01-23T13:49:00.001-08:00

Ok. This entry is the real composition of what I really went through. Has set a date with my mom for a dinner and a good time together. I woke up at 2:30pm (although I planned to wake up at 4:30pm instead). mingle around until the time is right for me to get ready. Only to found out that my mom played Mah Jong til morning. It's sadden enough that the person that was suppose to pick me up was late. Not to mention the time spend on traffic jams and taking items. I reach my mom's place for the dinner at 9pm+!!!! Making me damn hungry during the time of traveling. Luckily my gastric didn't erupted. LOL! Else I would be very upset.

Talk to my mom and my younger brother. My mom didn't kept her promised to get me the keyboard she promised. Something to do with tax and so on. Told her that she should courier it to me early. But then, I don't think she really remembers it. So fuck it! I don't give a damn anyway! Now that it's how she wants it to be. So I'll let her be. Just hopes she doesn't disturb my daily routine is sufficient. Other than that, I don't wanna know anything else unless she die from old age something. Even reunion dinner she also need to skip it with us.

More disturbing news as in my brothers are both not doing well in whatever. The truth is out there. But will take a longer time to suffice. Only time can tell. So poke it! LOL!

The Sadden Moon

2009-01-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

When I on axcest today. I was sadden to see that someone I once loved was shown on the Axcest personals front page. Although I know we're no longer together or anything. But I just really would like to know why I was treated in such manner. But it's all in the past now. Nothing that we can do to amend it. Nor to reverse back our time.

That's life. You succeed, you move on. You failed, you have to move on as well. But the joy was sometimes when we look back, we'll be happy or sad. Depends on what you when through. So, what's your personal view on love?

Queen Of The Toilet

2009-01-14T13:56:00.000-08:00

Having stomach pain is not fun. Having to go to toilets every 5-10 minutes isn't fun either... but try going to the toilet every hour when you are sleeping, that's a definite nightmare! Luckily I felt better now. LOL.

I was lucky enough to have someone bring me to go see the doctor and stayed with me through the night. Now, feeling better, I can go work & lazy on abit.

Annual Moon Nights

2009-01-12T14:03:00.000-08:00

It is a late entry to update on such event. First and foremost, I didn’t get anything from the luck draw. Well, I never have any luck on lucky draws. history goes way back. And I don’t wanna go there. It’s way too boring talking on history, and I know how much most people hates history classes. Dinner when well thought. I love the food. Alhought, the first two dishes were plain steamed rice & fried rice, the rest are just nice for me. I had a colleague ranting about the food. But I think it’s quite nice and it’s not an everyday food you get to eat them. The event running was very much to our delights. one of them was rather unforgettable as I was asked to go on stage. Then I had to drag a female colleagues up to the stage with me. They ask the ladies to role an egg up from our right leg, up to our waist and then role back down to our left leg. And it was on stage! Everyone was watching! Some took the chance to photo shot it and come video recorded it. All well as we won 3rd place. the prize? a Water bottle. table won the record for 2nd place in the long life event. Each and everyone of us won a pillow. So, although I didn’t get that 20" LCD monitor, nor anything out from the lucky draw, I got these 2 prizes. At least it was something. Now, I’m waiting for the Annual Dinner photo to be ready then I’m so going to upload it to facebook. The best part about that day I guess is that I don’t need to work and friend fetch me home and slept with me. It always nice cuddling someone when you are sleeping.

My gastric attacked me on saturday. resulting a devious pain and bad eruption in the toilet. Even when I ate some solid it’s still the same. So, no too solid for me until then. Still waiting for bonus. Even though I’ve receive news that the bonus maybe out together with our salary, it’s so going to be a last minute shopping. That’s the sad case. Mom is coming back on next coming tuesday. Hope she won’t disturb sleep like last time. LOL! Things didn’t goes well as I tried to MMS pic to the ipoh boy. Something is like damn fucked up with maxis MMS server again. But hopefully it’ll be fine later. Called him to chat with him on the phone for a short while. It’s really nice to hear his voice. But like normal youngster does, they kept ranting about not enough money to spend for this and that. I’m like begining to lose faith that we could ever be a couple or so. Looks like I just have to wait and see then. Until then...